It's official. Las Vegas is a hockey town now. Someone tell the Raiders to turn around and head back to Oakland. Sin City don't need 'em. Little more than a day after we showed you the 120-pound chocolate sculpture of Marc-Andre Fleury currently butterflying in the lobby of the Bellagio Hotel & Casino, the Golden Knights dropped the puck on their first-ever playoff appearance. And while they went on to beat the Kings 1-0, the true highlight of the night belonged to Knights' entertainment department—clearly poached from the nearest Ren Faire/LarpCon—who put together a pregame performance that made Siegfried & Roy look like Simon & Garfunkel.

While your bewildered eyeholes digest all of that, let's recap. Things start off mellow with a mystic fire sword duel to the death…

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…and then, HARK, out of the mists of time, a weary traveler emerges, just as the prophecy foretold!

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With him, rides the, umm, the cast of Drumline 2049

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also Jeremy Roenick and—wait—is that Blue Man Group? (Ed. Note: Sure is)

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Who have all gathered here, at Castle T-Mobile, to cast off the yolk of Eastern Conference hockey bias and CLAIM THEIR BIRTHRIGHT…WHICH IS FREEDOMMMMMM!

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So yeah, welcome to Vegas, hockey fans—you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

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