NurPhotoIt’s been a banner week for DM rejection in the sports world. Following failed enquiries into the state and availability of Mia Khalifa and Lena Dunham’s respective undercarriages by Wilson Contreras and Lenny Dykstra—not to mention some classic Insta claim-staking from Thor himself—we decided there’s only one thing left to do: Take the most mortifying overtures in athlete Twitter history and use them as teaching moments. You see, embedded within each feverish click of that little blue button, is a lesson in manners, gender, and game, and if you, athletes of the Internet, really want to get laid, that’s the only stat line that matters.
Troy Aikman
FacebookPinterestDanCritical Error: Where should we even begin? First of all, typing DM at the start of a Tweet and does not make it private, in much the same way that staring at a bag of pasta and shouting “PASTA” does not make pasta. Also, try to spell the woman you’re not-actually-DMing’s handle right. Also, stop mixing the Lipitor..

CRANS-MONTANA, Switzerland (AP) Scott Hend of Australia shot a 7-under 63 on Friday to follow his opening 64 and led the European Masters by one stroke after the second round.

Hend had an eagle and five birdies, four from the 14th hole onward, to lead South African Darren Fichardt whose 63 left him alone at 12 under.

Three shots further back were Thongchai Jaidee of Thailand, Fabrizio Zanotti of Paraguay, and Todd Sinnott of Australia.

A three-player group on 8-under included European Ryder Cup player Matt Fitzpatrick of England and American Julian Suri, who both shot 65.

The lowest score on a sunny day in the Swiss Alps was a 62 by Englishman Lee Slattery, 13 shots better than his opening round.

Tommy Fleetwood, the European Tour leader, missed the cut at 2-over after a par-70 round on the scenic course at Crans-sur-Sierre club.

Danny Willett, the 2016 Masters champion, was further adrift at 8-over. The Englishman, who won here in 2015, shot a 72.

Hend was runner-up in t..

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Three pecan trees hang over my yard and they drop their nuts all over the place. When they hit my roof they sound like gunshots and wake me up. When they hit the ground it's fine, until I go outside, which is like a first-world minefield.
I'm not much of a man's man, but I like to do yard work. It's especially fun and satisfying (don't know why) when I come home around 2 a.m. after a night of drinking. I'll plug in the string lights and grab a rake or some clippers, maybe the edger or the push-reel mower if I'm feeling punchy, and get to work. Pecan gatheri..

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) Lexi Thompson shot a 9-under 63 on Thursday to take a one-shot lead over Sandra Gal and Kris Tamulis in the LPGA Tour’s inaugural Indy Women in Tech Championship.

Thompson had 11 birdies and two bogeys to fall a stroke short of the Brickyard Crossing record set by Mike McCullough in the PGA Tour Champions’ 1999 Comfort Classic.

”It was quite the early morning, so it was a bit cold on the range and struggled a bit on the range, but I just hit a few good drivers at the end,” Thompson said. ”I just committed to one thing going into the round and I think that’s what made my day a lot easier on me. I just stuck to my routine and committed to my golf shots.”

Gal, like Thompson, started her morning round on the back nine that features four holes inside the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Gal hit 12 of 14 fairways in regulation in her bogey-free round.

”It’s cool, it’s funky. I really do like the course,” Gal said. ”I think it has really good challenges off the tee and t..

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) Lexi Thompson shot a 9-under 63 on Thursday to take a one-shot lead over Sandra Gal and Kris Tamulis in the LPGA Tour’s inaugural Indy Women in Tech Championship.

Thompson had 11 birdies and two bogeys to fall a stroke short of the Brickyard Crossing record set by Mike McCullough in the PGA Tour Champions’ 1999 Comfort Classic.

”It was quite the early morning, so it was a bit cold on the range and struggled a bit on the range, but I just hit a few good drivers at the end,” Thompson said. ”I just committed to one thing going into the round and I think that’s what made my day a lot easier on me. I just stuck to my routine and committed to my golf shots.”

Gal, like Thompson, started her morning round on the back nine that features four holes inside the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Gal hit 12 of 14 fairways in regulation in her bogey-free round.

”It’s cool, it’s funky. I really do like the course,” Gal said. ”I think it has really good challenges off the tee and t..

CRANS-MONTANA, Switzerland (AP) Miguel Angel Jimenez fired a 6-under round of 64 to be in a three-way tie for the lead after the European Masters first round on Thursday.

Aged 53, Jimenez had seven birdies and a single bogey on the picturesque Swiss Alps course to share the top of the leaderboard with 30th-ranked Tyrrell Hatton of England and Scott Hend of Australia.

Jimenez also competes on the senior tour and already holds the European Tour record as the oldest winner. At 50, his 2014 Spanish Open title was his 21st on the tour.

Six players were one shot behind the leaders, including Thongchai Jaidee of Thailand. The European Masters is also an Asian Tour event.

Among five players on 4 under was American golfer Daniel Im, who aced the 175-yard (160-meter) eighth hole with a seven iron.

Two-time European Masters champion Alex Noren of Sweden opened his title defense with a level-par round.

In his 500th start on the European Tour, Lee Westwood of England carded a 1-over 71.