Ketchup is not and should never be a point of contention among grown American adults, and yet here we are: With the fabric of democracy tearing and the status of your online privacy all but evaporated, Heinz has lobbed an additional thick gloppy grenade into the Culture Wars by making us address some very serious questions regarding condiments. (FOR THE RECORD: The LONE argument you should have about ketchup is whether it belongs on hot dogs, and in this context I’m a hard yes, because of how it masks the flavor of the mouse meat.)
Indeed, the famous lunch-slathering company announced this week that it’s testing a food-type substance that blends ketchup and mayonnaise and will, if released, both bring your heart to a full stop and produce a stain that will literally never ever come out of your linen shirts. The forthcoming goo is called Mayochup, because 10 years ago the Internet discovered that mashing two words together was briefly entertaining way to name novelty garbage, and now no..

Rocky WidnerThe NBA playoffs are back, and with them a perfect opportunity to celebrate the hotheads, assholes, egomaniacs, and Twitter addicts that make the most entertaining circus in sports go around. From locker room punch-outs to hookah bar honeys, it's been a banner year for off-the-court stupidity, so without further ado, please join us for the unveiling of The Loop's first annual NBA All-Controversy team. LET THE TECHNICALS BEGIN!
FacebookPinterestPG – Eric Bledsoe
On October 22nd, less than five days into 2017 NBA season, then Suns point guard Tweeted out a simple proclamation: “I don't wanna be here.” In minutes, Bledsoe's tweet became a bona fide sh*tstorm, setting the internet ablaze with debate over whether or not Bledsoe meant “the Phoenix Suns' imploding organization” or, as he later alleged, the barbershop where he was getting his haircut at the time. Six months later, Bledsoe plays for the Bucks and the Suns are 21-61, so we're guessing it..

Daniel Berger on never watching the Masters, deleting tweets that miss the cut, and why time on a boat can beat playing golf.

KAPOLEI, Hawaii (AP) Brooke Henderson remained bogey-free Thursday to take the second-round lead in the Lotte Championship.

Henderson, the 20-year-old Canadian ranked 14th in the world, birdied four of her first six holes to surge into the lead in relatively calm morning conditions. She finished with a 6-under 66 at Ko Olina Golf Club – the day’s low round – to get to 10 under.

No one could catch the five-time LPGA Tour winner as the wind gusted to 20 mph later in the day.

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Top-ranked Shanshan Feng, the first-round leader, was two strokes back with Mo Martin after a bogey-free 69. Martin, the 2014 Women’s British Open, had a 67.

Pernilla Lindberg and Inbee Park were together again on the leaderboard at 6 under, two weeks after Lindberg beat Park on the eighth extra hole in the major ANA Inspiration. Lindberg shot 68 and Park had a 69. Lindy Duncan also was 6 under after a 68.

Hawaii’s Michelle Wie, who has risen 100 spots to No. 13 since last March, mad..

KAPOLEI, Hawaii (AP) Brooke Henderson remained bogey-free to take the Lotte Championship lead halfway through the second round Thursday.

Henderson shot a 6-under 66 in 15 mph morning wind at Ko Olina Golf Club to get to 10 under. Ranked 14th in the world, the 20-year-old Canadian won twice last year and has five career LPGA Tour victories.

Mo Martin, the 2014 Women’s British Open champion, was two back after a 67.

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Pernilla Lindberg and Inbee Park were back together again on the leaderboard at 6 under, two weeks after Lindberg beat Park on the eighth extra hole in the major ANA Inspiration. Lindberg shot 68, and Park had a 69. Lindy Duncan also was 6 under after a 68.

First-round leader Shanshan Feng played in the afternoon.

HILTON HEAD ISLAND, S.C. (AP) Rory Sabbatini shot a 7-under 64 for his lowest round ever at Harbour Town Golf Links and a two-stroke lead Thursday in the RBC Heritage, with top-ranked Dustin Johnson five shots behind.

The talk leading up to the tournament was of the return of Johnson, the South Carolina native who grew up about three hours northwest of here yet had not played in the Palmetto State’s lone PGA Tour stop since 2009. But it was Sabbatini who quickly moved to the top in perfect, windless conditions on what’s typically one of the most wind-swept layouts of the year.

Matt Kuchar, Billy Horschel, Chesson Hadley and John Huh shot 66s. Johnson had a run of four straight birdies in the middle of his round, but ended up with a 69. He was tied for 20th.

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Sabbatini, starting on No. 10, birdied four holes on his front nine. He made a 52-foot putt on the par-3 14th and put his approach on No. 18 – the Pete Dye course’s signature hole with the lighthouse ..

MADRID (AP) Home favorite Jon Rahm shot a 5-under 67 to finish one off the lead after the first round of the Spanish Open Thursday.

Marc Warren of Scotland and Paul Dunne of Ireland set the pace on 66 at the Centro Nacional de Golf.

Warren birdied five of his last seven holes and Dunne also finished strongly with a birdie three at the 16th and an eagle three at the 18th.

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Rahm, who was fourth at the Masters Sunday, eagled the 18th too, the ninth hole of his round.

”I played a lot better than I expected, especially off the tee,” said the world No. 4 from Spain, who has never won professionally in his home country.

”Too bad that I couldn’t make a couple of putts but I guess it’s happening to everyone, the greens are not easy to read. Still, 5-under is fine and hopefully I can keep playing the same way to the green and make some putts for the rest of the week.”

Spanish amateur Victor Pastor was in a group of 10 other players tied with Rahm.

Defending cha..

Mitchell Leff(Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images)The NBA Playoffs start this weekend, and for those without a hometown club, now is the chance to jump on a bandwagon. However, which teams we choose hold subliminal meaning. It sends not just a message to the rest of the world, but serves as a mirror for things we are often unable to see. Think that's some ideological B.S.? Here is what your NBA bandwagon pick says about you:
Utah Jazz
You go against the grain, the type of person who routinely picks a No. 12 seed to reach the Final Four just so when it happens you can say, “Told ya so.” Your enjoyment is not predicated on winning or losing but merely being in the breech. You wear '90s NBA jerseys to barbecues, take great pride in knowing esoteric, unknown bands, and likely vote for third-party candidates.
Toronto Raptors
Though you can't define it, you know there's something greater at stake than a mere basketball game; this team's fate is a battle for the game&..

SOUTHAMPTON, N.Y. (AP) Tiger Woods has filed his entry to play in the U.S. Open for the first time since 2015.

The USGA says Woods officially entered on Thursday, four days after he tied for 32nd in the Masters. Even exempt players have to formally enter the U.S. Open.

Woods hasn’t played the U.S. Open since he missed the cut at Chambers Bay with rounds of 80-76.

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The U.S. Open is June 14-17 at Shinnecock Hills on Long Island, where Woods made his U.S. Open debut in 1995 as the U.S. Amateur champion. He opened with a 74 and withdrew the next day with a wrist injury. He tied for 17th at Shinnecock in 2004 when he was in the midst of changing his swing.

Woods is in the last year of a 10-year exemption from winning the 2008 U.S. Open at Torrey Pines.

It's official. Las Vegas is a hockey town now. Someone tell the Raiders to turn around and head back to Oakland. Sin City don't need 'em. Little more than a day after we showed you the 120-pound chocolate sculpture of Marc-Andre Fleury currently butterflying in the lobby of the Bellagio Hotel & Casino, the Golden Knights dropped the puck on their first-ever playoff appearance. And while they went on to beat the Kings 1-0, the true highlight of the night belonged to Knights' entertainment department—clearly poached from the nearest Ren Faire/LarpCon—who put together a pregame performance that made Siegfried & Roy look like Simon & Garfunkel.
While your bewildered eyeholes digest all of that, let's recap. Things start off mellow with a mystic fire sword duel to the death…
FacebookPinterest…and then, HARK, out of the mists of time, a weary traveler emerges, just as the prophecy foretold!
FacebookPinterestWith him, rides the, umm, the cast of Drumline 2049…
F..