Here at The Loop, the biggest cause for celebration this week isn't Hanukkah or Christmas or not checking Slack for almost 36 consecutive hours, but the 29th birthday of All-Pro WAG and daughter of the greatest hockey player who ever lived, Paulina Gretzky. Now we all know there's nothing Paulina loves more than a good ol' fashioned celebration, whether it be for Halloween…
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…or July 4th…
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…or just another Tuesday…
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…and for the last birthday of her 20s, she certainly didn't disappoint, packing up the crew for a Titleists-to-the-wall Vegas getaway that got plastered all over social media sometime WAY after our bedtime on Tuesday night.
Here's Paulina with balloons that say “Paulina”…
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Here's Paulina blowing out a birthday candle on a cup of soup or something…
FacebookPinterestHere's Paulina celebrating with a couple guys who can hit it A LOT..

There are things that are fine, and there are things that are Not Fine, and there are things that are Super-Mega Not Fine, and there are things that are So Not Fine That They Make You Want to Slap Your Own Face and Run Home to Your Papa, and this latter category brings us to the headline “Family Finds Snake Slithering Through Christmas Tree Branches.”
As if the planet needed any more proof that it's wiser to drive to Lowe’s, buy a fake factory-produced Christmas tree, slap it in a stand and have it decorated in time for the Steelers game, this is merely more unnecessarily provocative evidence that the fancy Real Tree You Felled In the Forest with the Aid of a Bearded Woodsman Named Fjurg the Sweaty probably contains at least one snake. And in this case one snake is plenty. Well, in most cases one snake is probably plenty. I can’t think of a reason you’d need two snakes for anything, unless you needed someone to eat two mongooses, or wanted a backup Horcrux.
Christmas trees, of cou..

The hockey-crazed among us harbor fantasies about unspoiled frozen lakes tucked in remote backwoods, with ice as clear as glass, endless Labatt's on tap, and Minka Kelly driving the Zamboni. Apparently this place exists, save for maybe the beer and the photogenic ice maintenance staff.
FacebookPinterestAvalanche Lake is located in Glacier National Park, in the northwest corner of Northwest Montana. We only looked this up after stumbling upon the below online video, which immediately triggered thoughts of an emergency “business trip” over Christmas weekend that would involve our skates, a stick, and not an awkward family dinner in sight.
Of course, the nature of semi-viral online videos is this little corner of hockey heaven will probably be overpopulated by noon on Thursday, with a line of cars snaking around the mountain, and James Earl Jones selling T-shirts. But for a little while, it looks as close to perfect as hockey can get. Heck, we'd even bring our own beer.

You can break bread with the greatest golfer of all-time thanks to a charity auction

Justin Thomas has earned about $25 million in his three years on the PGA Tour. That includes his bonus from winning the FedEx Cup this year. It does not include endorsement money from the likes of Titleist, Citi and Polo.

He has a better grasp of his percentage making putts inside 10 feet than the size of his bank account.

Thomas appreciates the money as a measure of success. The 24-year-old just doesn’t see it as much more than that.

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”I’ve never been one to say, `Wow, I have all this’ or `Wow, I could buy this or that.’ Never in my mind have I been like, `OK, I’m playing golf to win all this money,”’ Thomas said.

”I’m truly playing because I want to win a lot – a lot – of golf tournaments and majors and hopefully have a Hall of Fame-type career. The money really is just a bonus. I’m sure a lot of people honestly don’t believe me, but I don’t know. I’ve never once thought about the money.”

It’s only a problem this time of the year – not for him, b..

As a general rule of thumb, if you're rich enough to own a garage full of exotic Ferraris, you can do pretty much whatever you want with them. Race them, crash them, lick them. It's your prerogative, Money Bags O'Houlihan. You spent a small European nation's annual GDP on them, after all, and that buys you the right to encase them in wrapping paper, stick two creepy elves in the windshield, and call it a day if you so choose. Just ask Ian Poulter.
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Despite finishing a meager 92nd on the PGA Tour money list last year, Ian Poulter, in typically subtle Ian Poulter fashion, decided to give his garage a little dose of holiday cheer this season, wrapping up one of his multi-hundred-thousand-dollar Italian thoroughbreds and playing Elf on the Shelf with it. Why? Because A) it's the most wonderful time of the year, and B) the feed was getting a little drab, brah.
Now in Poulter's defense (STOP THE PRESSES), he does claim to have pulled off ..

Elsa(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)Despite averaging just 16 minutes a game, Kyle O'Quinn pulls in $4 million for his services to the New York Knicks. Even against the price-gauging Big Apple backdrop, that's a lot of cabbage.
But, no matter one's salary, we're all guilty of the side-hustle to make a couple extra bucks. And in O'Quinn's case, that means moonlighting as a Jewish party entertainer.
“The parties are crazy,” O'Quinn told ESPN's Ian Begley. “I did one, did two, and the next thing you know, I was just Bar Mitzvah Man.”
There's an entire industry on celebrity appearances, a realm the Norwalk State product was introduced to through the bat mitzvah of his agent's daughter. But the 27-year-old isn't just showing up for the check; O'Quinn spends most of his time at the events dancing and joking with the kids.
“A lot of times, I go and I stay longer than I'm supposed to because it's so much fun,” O'Quinn told ..

Remember Clark Griswold, all-around family man, Bears fan, and semi-overzealous exterior illumination enthusiast?
FacebookPinterestOf course you do, dude is a legend. But if you think Griswold took his holiday light fetish one or two thousand megawatts too far, then you're gonna HATE this guy. In fact, we're pretty confident his neighbors already do:
https://twitter.com/PSUBarstool/status/942851941100605440
In case you can't tell, Mr. Happy Valley here has a thing for his Fiesta Bowl-bound Nittany Lions, and much to the disappointment of passerby retinas, decided to put that fandom on full, grid-collapsing display this holiday season.
If this isn't the most over-the-top, batshit holiday light display you've seen this season, please go back to Whoville. If you think this is acceptable neighbor behavior, please go back to Whoville (or Happy Valley, as it were).
Everybody else, you're cool. As long as you don't have a Nick Saban angel perched on your tre..

Jordan Spieth won the British Open with a flourish at the end. Justin Thomas hit 7-iron that had to be perfect for him to seal his first major at the PGA Championship.

Both wonder if they would have been in position to win on Sunday if not for key shots earlier in the week.

It’s like that just about every year. There is a signature shot from a major, the one that gets replayed more than the others. And there is another shot – or one moment, as was the case for Masters champion Sergio Garcia – that is just as meaningful to them.

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MASTERS

For all the Sunday drama at Augusta National, Sergio Garcia made only one birdie on the back nine in regulation. The signature shot of this Masters, however, led to eagle. After smashing a drive on the par-5 15th, Garcia hit 8-iron that nicked the pin and set up a 15-foot eagle putt to tie Justin Rose for the lead.

”One of the best shots I hit all week,” Garcia said.

Just as meaningful to him was the 15th club..

Here in North America, beard and hockey season are fully upon us, and last night the two collided in odd fashion, when Edmonton Oilers winger Pat Maroon collided with San Jose Sharks defenseman Brent Burns near the crease. As both players kneeled prone on the ice, Maroon lovingly reached around Burns, stroked his beard thrice, and both went on their merry way.
https://twitter.com/NBCSSharks/status/942962595782303744
No punches. No trash talk. No Three Stooges-esque referee scrum. Just admiration for another man's facial hair proudly displayed on live TV. It probably goes without saying, but we'll say it anyway: This is simultaneously the oddest and greatest moment of the NHL season thus far and a friendly reminder that, especially around the holidays, nothing brings the world together like a badass beard.