Logo golf shirts. Comic books. P ofearl Jam 45s. Salt and pepper shakers shaped like giraffes. No matter who you are, you have a thing you already have enough of but keep buying more anyway—tiny, little, itty, bitty addictions that get us through rainy Tuesdays when we have a headache and just got a speeding ticket on the way to work. For former MLB pitcher Dan Haren, that (mostly) harmless vice is bobbleheads. But not just any bobbleheads; a proud 300-figure collection of MLB classics that Haren pledged to auction off in its entirety on Wednesday, with all proceeds going to help the fight of the coronavirus. We'll say this once: What. A. Guy.
Now we know what you're thinking: Whoopdie-Freakin'-Doo, a grown-ass millionaire selling off his toy collection. But like we said, if you are similarly afflicted to Mr. Haren—and we're willing to bet you are—you should understand how much this hurts. These aren't just a bunch of freebie Friday-night giveaways either. There are some honest-to-goodness gems in there, and Haren will ship each with it's own personal story.
In fact, to help expedite the process, for every winning bid, Haren will ship five additional bobbleheads from his collection for free. So maybe Harren isn't a superhero. Maybe we shouldn't applaud him for doing what he should do right now. But you know what, we're going to anyway and something tells us his wife will be right there cheering alongside us.
Place your bids on the first round bobbleheads here and remember to say thank you to your local mailman.