As another exciting season of Warriors exhibition basketball NBA action tips off, the time has come to wear your fandom, quite literally, on your sleeve. Thanks to the NBA Store’s infinitely hilarious treasure trove of hardcourt trinkets, however, intrepid ballers can now proudly brandish it on their face, ass, cuticles, wrists, and Christmas trees as well. So without further ado—because we have some actual games to get to—The Loop is pleased to present the 15 most ridiculous NBA Store finds on earth. Happy hunting, superfans.
FacebookPinterestPerfect for busting Jim Buss’s balls.
Kristaps Porzingis Lego Puzzle
FacebookPinterestGood luck ever sleeping again, children of the Tri State.
FacebookPinterestXXX. ALL THE HOT DUNKS YOU CAN HANDLE.
FacebookPinterestFUN FACT: This Cavaliers 2016 championship chronograph is worth more than the city of Cleveland.
FacebookPinterestAKA the only exciting thing about Chicago Bulls basketball this season.
Golden State Warriors Baby Bib
FacebookPinterestGotta start ‘em young…so that when you inevitably stop rooting for the Warriors in a year and a half, your child will be doomed to suffer three decades of basketball futility out of some misguided sense of duty.
Golden State Warriors Temporary Face Tattoo
FacebookPinterestIt washes off. Perfect for bandwagon fans!
Minnesota Timberwolves Nail Polish
FacebookPinterestWhen Jimmy Butler goes down with an achilles injury before November, you can also drink this and pray for sweet release.
Philadelphia 76ers Fidget Spinner
FacebookPinterestBecause 30 wins is just a spin away. #TrustTheProcess
FacebookPinterestAnd you thought Porzingis was scary…
Cleveland Cavaliers Guy Fieri Visor
FacebookPinterestRollin’ out on a new episode of Diner, Drive-Ins, and Flops!
FacebookPinterestPerfect for carving Jack Nicholson o’ lanterns. Thank you, thank you. We’re here all week.
FacebookPinterestNot compatible with Manu Ginobili’s aging corpse.
FacebookPinterestAhh, the memories.
FacebookPinterestNo really, WTF.