U.S. Open - Round Two
Harry How

The story at the U.S. Open thus far hasn't been Koepka or Tiger. It hasn't been Jordan Spieth's questionable leadership strategies or the USGA, as it usually seems to be. Instead it's been the weather—cloudy, calm, and damp—leading to soft conditions that have allowed guys to go reallyyyyy low at Golf's Greatest Test™. On Thursday, Pebble Beach Golf Links gave up the second most sub-par rounds in U.S. Open first-round history, playing nearly three strokes under its previous U.S. Open averages while surrendering a whopping 17 eagles. But don't blame the scourge of modern driving distance or even the USGA for overcorrecting after last year's Shinnecock setup. According to Fox at least, there's only one thing responsible for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers-esque defense of Pebble Beach so far this year: The dreaded marine layer.

No seriously, they won't shut the hell up about it. Just ask Twitter:

https://twitter.com/GolfonFOX/status/1139576142933975040

https://twitter.com/jodibaconbits/status/1139574489136685056

https://twitter.com/protrajjj/status/1139571649802641409

https://twitter.com/AlexMarco3llio4/status/1139556571405570048

https://twitter.com/flashradical/status/1139551001004953600

https://twitter.com/jmsteiner8/status/1139550215143350272

So what the hell is a "marine layer" anyway? Well, according to Weather.gov, it's a low-lying cloud mass that commonly forms in pacific coastal environments, trapping cool air in and keeping warm air out. In other words, it's what Sausalito wheatgrass mixologists call fog, and currently the entire Bay Area is buried beneath a 2,000-foot blanket of it, keeping the wind down and temps in the upper 50s for the world's best golfers, who are currently tearing poor ol' Pebble a new set of hole locations.

RELATED: The top 10 most Phil Mickelson moments at the U.S. Open

If you're planning on diving into a "marine layer" drinking game with Bacon & Faxon this afternoon, however, we highly suggest you hold off until the sun breaks through, lest you spend Friday night at the ER getting your stomach pumped. But if you absolutely must, we put together a fun little bingo board for you and the buds. Happy hangovers, folks.

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