Keep it moving, folks. Nothing to see here but a 51-year-old man in a windbreaker chomping on a cigar and crushing dingers over a 15-foot tall outfield fence with room to spare. Apparently it's some guy named Gary Sheffield—just your average Joe Blow—so don't waste your time. Go home to your families. Belly up to the bar. Hop a boxcar headed west with nothing but a hobo sack and a pocket full of dreams. Honestly we don't care what you do with the vibrant, fertile oasis that is your life, but don't spend it watching some old dude hit baseballs.
Or not. Have it your way, you fools.
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See? Like we said, nothing special. Sure, some of those balls still haven't landed. Yes, he's going after that cigar harder than MJ at the turn. But still, come on. You could be compiling Baby Yoda memes or something. USE WHAT LITTLE TIME YOU HAVE LEFT IN THIS EXISTENCE WISE..

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In case you haven't heard, this Lionel Messi guy is pretty damn good. And by pretty damn good, we mean quite possibly the single most dominant athlete ever in their respective sport full stop. Messi has won 10 La Liga titles, four Champions League trophies, has scored 681 goals in 839 appearances, and as of Monday afternoon, claimed his sixth Ballon d'Or—AKA European soccer's annual MVP award—breaking a deadlock with Cristiano Ronaldo with the most of all time. But amidst the glitz and glam of soccer's biggest awards show, it wasn't the newly minted Messi that shone the brightest, but instead his son Matteo, whose reaction to his father's record-breaking achievement proved to be the moment of the night/only reason for trudging on in this grim, dark existence.
https://twitter.com/ESPNFC/status/1201602549758996480
Why is Matteo laughing like a little pint-sized mob boss? Did he just watch The Irishman?Honestly we have no idea, but we love it. Stack this up a..