Deadpool 2 drops in two weeks, and while we've yet to see any significant footage from the film, if it's even half as good as the marketing, we—fellow connoisseurs of cartoony gore and raunchy sex jokes—are in for a real treat. First came this hilarious, Bob Ross-inspired teaser, followed by a pseudo not-trailer trailer introducing the world to Josh Brolin's Thanos Cable, a mock Twitter account for Pete the milquetoast sidekick, and now the piece de la resistance: A capital J Celine Dion Jam, “Ashes”, written and performed exclusively for the Deadpool 2 soundtrack. KICK IT (full Beastie Boys voice):
If you're not sobbing right now, you're clearly a robot and should be rounded up and exterminated because robots are scary. This makes “Kiss From a Rose” sound like the Chicken Dance song and the Titanic theme swab the decks. This is like god covering Jeff Buckley and that's not even the best part. The best part is that “Ashes” appears on the Deadpool 2 soundtr..

THE COLONY, Texas (AP) The first round of the LPGA North Texas Classic has been called off because of heavy morning rain. Only 34 of the 144 golfers completed at least one hole.

Play was stopped Thursday 69 minutes after the first groups teed off. The decision to resume play Friday was made during mid-afternoon, hours after the rain stopped and sunshine bathed the course. Thursday’s scores were thrown out.

A tournament official says no decision on the schedule for the weekend’s final three rounds will be made until the first round is completed. Friday’s forecast calls for more rain.

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The event is in its first season at Old American Golf Club.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) John Peterson started his rookie season on the PGA Tour about the time Tiger Woods started to experience back problems.

One of them is closer to walking away than the other.

Peterson, the 29-year-old free spirit who has pledged to retire from golf’s vagabond lifestyle if he doesn’t earn enough money to keep his card in three events, made back-to-back eagles late in the opening round Thursday for a 6-under 65 that gave him a two-shot lead in the Wells Fargo Championship.

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Woods had an unspectacular round of 71 in his return to Quail Hollow after a six-year absence – mostly due to his balky back – and figured it would keep him and everyone else fairly close to the lead on a course that made it tough for anyone to get separation.

That was before Peterson came to life late in his round.

He holed a bunker shot from just under 60 feet away on the par-5 seventh hole. Then he holed a 56-degree wedge from 107 yards in the fairway for eagle o..

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) Tyrrell Hatton did much better at Quail Hollow as a PGA Tour event than he did on the course that hosted the PGA Championship last summer.

Hatton and Peter Malnati each had a 4-under 67 and shared the early lead Thursday in the opening round of the Wells Fargo Championship. Rory McIlroy, a two-time winner of this event, was among those one shot behind.

Even though a 67 was the low score after the opening round of the PGA Championship, McIlroy said it was clear the course is easier now. The greens aren’t running as fast and missing the fairway was not as punishing.

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The leaderboard from the early starters looked nothing like that at the PGA Championship, either. Four of the top six players weren’t even in the field last August.

Hatton was there. He shot rounds of 77-72 to miss the cut. On Thursday, he holed out from just over 100 yards in the fairway for eagle on No. 8, and then finished with birdies on the final two holes – two of th..

Harry HowAmong the MLB's still-active, future Hall-of-Famers, it's fair to say Albert Pujols has the greatest numbers of the group (though I'm sure Adrian Beltre and Ichiro fans would have legitimate arguments). But a quick glance at Pujols' insane Baseball-Reference page could change their minds. On Thursday, Pujols could join Beltre and Ichiro in the exclusive 3,000-hits club, needing just two more after sending one to the fence and another over it for No.'s 2,997 and 2,998 on Wednesday night:
https://twitter.com/SportsCenter/status/991910714255212544
Getting to 3,000 is still one of the most remarkable feats in all of sports, and with the rate players are striking out nowadays, it feels like Pujols could be the last to join the club for a long time. After Miguel Cabrera (2,665) and Robinson Cano (2,406), the next closest active player is Jose Reyes with 2,100, and, call me crazy, but it doesn't appear as though he's coming up with 900 more anytime ..

RBFriedA girl hitting a softballIf you're intrigued by the idea of large Division 1 colleges recruiting an 11-year-old child, hopefully it's because you find the notion profoundly insane.
But it's true! A Florida softball prodigy named Alexia Carrasquillo verbally committed to play softball for the Florida Gators one day before her 12th birthday. If you’re one of those piteous clowns who goes to school for learning, that means she was 11. It also means she’s the youngest human to commit to the NCAA in any sport. Normally we wouldn’t have to specifically reinforce that fact, but this is still America.
Insane, right? Ha ha not even in the slightest! According to the Tampa Bay Times, “It has become common for softball players to declare their college intentions when they are in middle school,” because old men running colleges pressure them to. By contrast, here is a comprehensive list of things I was prepared to declare in middle school:
Important Things Which I Was Prepare..

Jonathan KozubMeet David Richard Adams. Adams is Justin Trudeau's newest senate appointee, an acclaimed novelist, and, like most Canadians, invented hockey. Given his exclusive rights to the game's patent, on Tuesday, while fellow members of the Canadian senate trifled with Iran Accountability Week, Asian Heritage Month and the Aga Khan’s Diamond Jubilee visit, Adams took some time out of everyone's not-so-busy schedule to bring a matter of actual global importance to the senate floor:
The bastardization of the treasured hockey lexicon by knuckle-dragging Yankee announcers, who have been slanging unchecked through playoff broadcasts in balmy southern utopias like Boston and Pittsburgh FOR TOO LONG.
“Long ago and far away, when I was boy,” Adams began, explaining that the hockey vernacular he grew to know and love in that distant, sepia-toned age of innocence and wrist-breaking slashes, has been all but lost as America has slowly supplanted sweaters with jerseys and scrub..

Golf Digest Tiger Woods Thursday live blog: Woods looks to get off to strong start at the Wells Fargo.

Streeter Lecka (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)Tiger Woods returned to the winner's circle at Quail Hollow this week. Kind of.
No matter how the Wells Fargo Championship plays out, Woods is leaving with some hardware. That is thanks to Wednesday's pro-am, where Tiger and four amateurs—including a 17-year-old who gained entry through a writing contest sponsored by the First Tee—combined to fire a 56, bettering Xander Schauffele's group by a shot.
The craziest thing? According to Golf Channel's Tiger Tracker, it is the first career pro-am victory for Woods. Astonishing, considering Tiger has 79 real victories in 331 tour events.
Now, we're not petitioning the tour to include this pro-am triumph as an official win. But, if we're counting team events like the Zurich and 30-man fields like the Tour Championship and Tournament of Champions as sanctioned victories, Tiger's pro-am certainly has the same amount of merit, yes?
(Silence)
Fine, you monsters..

In case you haven't been paying attention, the Las Vegas Golden Knights are pretty good. Like, best expansion team in the history of American sports good. And while this might be news to you, it isn't to former NL MVP, manscaping specialist, and Vegas native Bryce Harper, who is all aboard the Golden Knights hypetrain, CHOO CHOO!
https://twitter.com/GoldenKnights/status/989706180816613376
On Wednesday night, however, Harper took his fandom one step further, sending a slew of custom Golden Knights baseball bats to the team while smacking his first-ever lead-off dinger with his own Knights-branded slugger 3,000 miles away. Fate or completely random happenstance? You bet your ass it was.
https://twitter.com/GoldenKnights/status/991834057515253761
In the end, the Knights got battered by the Sharks 4-0, and the bats did little to even the odds, but it's still comforting to know that despite the money, fame, and social media game, professional athletes are still psychotic, wal..