Mark CunninghamYou can buy just about anything at a major league ballpark these days, from two-foot-long chicken nuggets to a battalion's worth of pink urban camo. For their 2019 home opener, however, the Detroit Tigers are upping the ante with the most shameless display of exploitative capitalism since the Lehman Brothers: A literal bottle of dirt, retailing for $20 actual U.S. dollars. We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried, but clearly someone had to and that person should be thrown in prison forever.
https://twitter.com/Bill_Shea19/status/1113811070785937408
Allegedly the dirt came from the Comerica Park infield, but honestly who knows. It's just as likely the Tigers sent some intern down to Lake Michigan to scrape up a couple bottles of lead-laced grime for the kids. Then they slapped a label on the sucker and tossed it in the team store under “Opening Day Dirt Bottle.” A triumph a branding this ain't, but what else are you supposed to buy when you already ..